You can claim to be the Master of None but surely you excel at something. Among the obvious most-calories-per-bite, Italy also shows excellence in stonecraft; specifically the carving of Alabaster.
An ashtray fit for a two person party (or an indecisive you) will steal stares from the table thanks to its hand carved detail (and maybe what's resting in it).
Dimensions: 7"w, 2.5"h.